Cryptocurrency for digital nomads – update

The quest continues

My search for a way to buy crypto that doesn’t suck continues apace. Here’s an update of where I landed with the platforms I tried, and the degree to which each of them sucks:

*NB: 0/10 shall denote the suckiest and least useful.

 

Coinbase

Never replied to my most recent customer service query, 1 week ago. Did send me annoying auto-emails talking about what I should do with my shiny new (utterly non-functional) account.

Rating: 0/10,  maximal sucking, minimal utility.

 

Kraken

Never replied to my most recent customer service query, also exactly 1 week ago. Not trynna chase you guys to give you my business, bros. I get that their volumes are probably especially high lately, but still.

Rating: 1/10, account is equally useless but at least I didn’t get any annoyingly chirpy auto-emails about a service I can’t use.

 

Gemini

So, these guys actually verified me to the point where I could see about making a purchase. Exciting! Then it turns out they only accept fiat currency transfers via bank wire, which is prohibitively expensive for small purchases (my US bank charges me USD$25 per outgoing wire transfer).

Also, I dislike having to use a North American phone number every damn time I log in to my account. But I’d have overlooked that if they allowed a better option for funds transfer. I didn’t proceed with making a purchase.

Rating: 5/10, significantly less sucky than Coinbase or Kraken, but still not allowing me to do what I want, which is make purchases easily, with minimal hassles and minimal fees.

 

Bit Panda

The newcomer! I added these guys to my experiment following a suggestion from someone on one of the digital nomad communities I’m part of. They are more Europe-friendly, so yay! But, alas, their verification also sucks, so boo.

They offered this video-verification service, which was in German, but fine, Google Translate to the rescue. Only I waited on the other side of the video call for at least 10 minutes, and pinged a message to their help chat, before giving up altogether. Haven’t heard back from them since.

This was a disappointment, because it appears as though they allow normal funds transfers from euro-denominated accounts. And given that online transfers in Europe just generally suck a lot less than in the US, I was hopeful about that.

Rating: 4/10, I have to rank Bit Panda as sucking a bit more than Gemini, because at least I could get verified there. But I suspect for those who can get past that hurdle (surely some people have had better luck with their weird video service?) the payment options are a lot better. For those of us with euro banks, at least.

Bitstamp

Another new addition to the list, on the suggestion of a friendly commenter on the previous post. Want to send me any other suggestions? I’m clearly highly suggestible in this area.

I just submitted my verification documents, in a relatively pain-free process. Fingers crossed!

Rating: 5/10, tentatively hopeful. This is like going on an even marginally promising first date after a string of disasters. It’s not gonna take that much to be better than the last bunch, so use that to your advantage, Bitstamp. (“Well, it seems like he isn’t a racist, so there’s that!” Basically, don’t be a racist and you’re in with a chance, Bitstamp.)

 

So far, no purchases made

As I write this, Bitcoin has had a very bullish (and yet tumultuous) few days, looking to surpass $10,000 USD/BTC. But, as with all my investments, I don’t try to time the market. If/when I do make a purchase, it will be a small % of my net worth, and I’ll add to it over time as part of my overall portfolio.

And especially, as always, nothing here even remotely constitutes investment or tax advice. Do your due diligence and follow your own bright star. 

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